exam term

so its coming up to the end of my first year of college and with it, comes lots of exciting exams!! note the sarcasm. so with these exams comes revision. workshops. revision. oh and more revision! the joys. Thats why ive been avoiding my blog..so sorry to take it out on you but when i get a spare minute i shall update, hopefully, it will be more often than this!

M x

holidays

soooo havent blogged in a while. sorry. been busy living my life.

..anyway, british weather has gone from being glorious to making a turn for the worst. To put it in terms you'll understand, i went from being sunburnt yesterday to being drenched with rain on the way back from Asda. Absolute worst.
There is a bonus with today though, i purchased Harry potter and the deathly hallows: Part 1!!!!!!! (it just came out today aswell..such a geek).

anyway off to chill with dobby, maybe ''daperate'' to the cinema.. (hahaha)

Ma'rayray

xxxxxxxx

hans zimmer

Hans Zimmer is a film score composer and music producer, he's a genius basically. Making the most beautifully articulated, dramatic, cultivating, inspiring, feel like you can do anything, feel like you can cry for hours, want to fall in love and conquer the world, pieces of music.

Since im a massive film geek and i listen to most soundtracks to films that ive watched and enjoyed; Hans Zimmer is the same composer that pops up in every film i watch. Hence why hes my favourite.

Here's an original score called ''Time'' by Hans Zimmer. You may recognise this as being in the last few scenes of the film 'Inception'...enjoy.

Marina

london protests

this links to my last post. speaks for itself really.

being realistic

today i got thinking of what im actually going to do when i leave college. I mean with the fees reaching upto nine grand per year, not including living, maintenance and food costs, im gonna be in over my head. The thing is im going to be in debt of over 40,000 pounds as soon as i sign the paper to be on the uni course. How crazy is it that a person can be in so much debt to society when it was society's fault and the fault of the past generation that led to this? Why are we to blame? Why us? Why me?

My brothers going to university to study maths just before the fee's increase so he's dodging a bullet. Thing is, i dont want to be the sibling thats got no future or prospects because of fucking uni fee's!! This is the first time in my life where ive actually thought, 'fuck, what am i going to do'. I want to be noticed, i want to have a voice in this fucking country. Conservatives are full of bullshit. They promise one thing and do another. Letting us down constantly. Not thinking of the middle man. Children have their choices chosen by adults. Adults chose their own choices. What about the other third of the population that are teenagers, struggling to get part-time jobs, struggling through exams, struggling to get into uni as it is and then they go and make ONE more thing harder!! All they give a shit about is the rich getting a spot at uni, they don't want us working class scum there. Were not worthy. Were not worthy of their clothes, vanity, careers, lifestyles and now were not even worthy of a fucking education. A common right for every living citizen in this country.

In all honesty, their too far up there own arse's to give a shit about us. If I met any of the government, i'd tell them how they've ruined my life and my choices for the future, and that i hope they enjoy going home to a nice cooked meal by their servants and have a lovely comforting sleep in their Egyptian cotton sheets, but always know that my dad lost his job today, without pay-off. So university isn't on my mind anymore, but wanna know what is? The fact that my parents will soon run out of money to pay off bills, their Mortgage, to be able to get fuel in their car to drive me to college, for me to be able to get nice clothes and enjoy the little things in life.

Well done David Cameron, You've truly outdone yourself in fucking up my life and 62 million others. Congratulations you power-hungry prick. Go do one.



Marina Haigh

So at the minute me and ''our Joe'', as my friends call him, are taking it nice and slow (emphasis on the slow). Its really nice what we have, there's no pressure or petty little problems or anything like that really. Were just getting to know one another and enjoying each-others company, I mean, who needs commitment at this age? After seeing my friend cry today because she and her boyfriend have split up because of rushing things, I realised I didn't want that to happen to me and Joe, because its still early days and we might not even be right for each-other.. but I know one thing for sure, im having fun finding out!

Ma'rayray

just a quick post to apologise for the lateness of posts. As with a job there are a few bonus's..
1. money.
2. new friends.
3. free stuff at this 'said' job.
4. money.
5. money?!
bad points about having a job..
1. NO SOCIAL LIFE.
end.


So you see my excuse for lateness of posts. Since i work weekends and have college during weekdays, im literally up to my neck in stuff i need to do. I really need to prioritise.


emergency shopping list..
1. Buy a planner.




Ma'rayray xxxx

I NOW HAVE A PART TIME JOB, I AM GONNA BE ROLLING IN DA MON££££YZ YEH

happy days

soo i spoke to Joe today for like millionth time and he asked me out! eeee he's taking me out tomorrow (picking me up and everything!) just for casual walk round and a starbucks, cannot wait! Plus i start my new job tomorrow so im preparing for a busy but decent day tomorrow! wish me luck..

Ma'rayray

serious week

so ive been very down over the past week due to poor results and lots of work, so in short - stressed out. Although ive been stressed, some little things make my day, for instance i had a random trip to the cinema yesterday to see Battle:LA (ps. awesome film) and went to McDonalds too (not even reached the best bit yet..) while in macciedee's i got FIVE, yes thats right, five chicken nuggets instead of the average four per bag. SO happy! Another thing that cheered me up was seeing that cute guy (the one that i was on about in my last post) in media.. again. Had another hour conversation and he gave me his number! yet again.. SO happy! Now my week is certainly looking up, just cant wait for friday so its the weekend, plus i start my new job on saturday night so the money shall be rrrrrooolllliiinnngg in.. anyway heres to a good weekend guys!

Ma'rayray

long week!

sorry for the really late post, been busy with college and this ridiculous 'CoPE' qualification.. you dont even wanna know. Anyway, soooo this guy in my media is completely cute and was talking to me yesterday and today and its early days but he's really nice. This brings me to another thing, do you have those embarassing friends that start wolf whistling and singing ''i want to have your babies'' while taking to the guy you like? cos thats what i had ALL media class while talking to Joe.

Thank you Jake, Hannah and Izzie for making me completely nervous wreck with Joe, your superstars! hahaha...

Ma'rayray

oh..iya

thank god the weekend is here! and things are reeeaaally looking up in my life, heres a few reason why..

1. My parents have gone on holiday for the week leaving the house, cars, fridge, ect ect in my trusty hands. (THEY EVEN GAVE ME A HUNDRED QUID FOR THE WEEK)! eee happy.

2. My friend sam got me a trial placement at 'Bar Fusion' which is really good cos i get paid for doing the trial even if i dont get the job! eee happy again.

3. Before my rents' went away they imported some hersheys chocolate and syrup from america cos they know how much i love the stuff! im. spoilt.

4. PARTY WITH MY FRIENDS NEXT WEEK. WOOOOOOOOOOOOO ;p

But with all good things comes bad..

1. I have another 1000 words essay due in, in two weeks time.

2. Got results from my geology quiz, i got a D. worst.

3. have to do none stop cleaning otherwise my mum and dad will dis-own me when they get back from lanzarote. (thats a spanish island for all you people that dont know).


In all honesty though, the good stuff out weights the bad so im still a happy marina! Time to chill and watch the mentalist with shitloads of food.

xoxoxoxoxoxox

MA'RAYRAY

stressful day

today i had to hand in my final piece for media, which is a massive pain in the arse when you've got a gazillion other deadlines to think about too. Anyway, my teacher danni is totally nice but when it comes to teaching she contradicts herself, alot.
For my final media piece i worked with my friend Jake (jembers.blogspot.com)and he agrees with me when i say that danni messes us about alot, basically we had to do some filming as i told you in my past blogs and she said ''its not enough filming to finish your work, you need more angles!'' blablabla all that crap. So while me and jake are freaking out and thinking, 'fuck, what are we gonna do', danni stumples over and checks are work again and says ''good footage!'' ..So you can see what i mean when i say she messes us about. To be honest this deadline was only a draft piece and we have another two weeks to actually get it done and finished so she's having a massive bitch fit at us for no reason.

In other news i got given an 1000 word essay to complete, due in on the 17th march and then i have an essay to write friday morning which i still havent done research for and then theres work which i didnt get to finish in lesson so i got given it to do after college, so basically im up to my neck in flippin' work!! Seriously cannot wait for this weekend, parents are off away for the week so i wont get them nagging at me for pathetic shit, especially my mum, me and her still arent on good terms but to be honest i couldnt give a crap she hasnt even apologised for the way shes treated me so stuff her. I refuse to grovel anymore than i already have done. Just a waste of time.

Anyway off to do some work, but before i do, quick question for my geology paper on friday.. if anyone has any clue on the explotation of tundra, please message me, duely appreciated!

Ma'rayray

beautiful day

it is the most beautiful day in england, ever. So beautiful that i just wanna go out and run around like a little kid, but unfortunatley my feelings dont match the weather.

Last night was probably the worst night of my entire life. Started off pretty normal, watching corronation street with a cup of tea and then i said something to my mum and she totally kicks off, saying im the worst daughter and stuff like that, i was in tears. Long story short she ended up leaving in the middle of the night with her car and not coming back for hours, we had no idea where she was because of no communication, i didnt get to sleep till she came back either, hence why im not at college because im too tired so i have to catch up on sleep.

I spoke a few words to my mum this morning but shes not being nice to me at all, i never did anything wrong, my dad was defending me and shes just gone up the wall. I guess i'll just have to wait and see what today brings because im too scared to talk to her by herself, afraid that shes going to snap and run like she did last night.

On a brighter note, my tear ducts have run dry, no more crying for a while i suppose.



Sitting with my brother saying ''Potato'' off celebrity juice..

Marina

angry opinion

i find that people who are fat and say ''eww im really fat'' to their friends, that they are obviously digging for compliments..

..but then theirs people who are size -17616726 and say ''eww im really fat'' and im like get some fucking real problems you skinny bitch.


I DONT LIKE PEOPLE THAT GO ON ABOUT THEIR WEIGHT BECAUSE THEY CAN ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

you made yourself that way so stop fucking complaining. Your own bloody fault.

first day back

So yeah today was first day back to college, after half term and like any other college day, i did nothing very constructive.

Just incase you didnt know, i took 4 subjects at college, one being media studies, which was probably one of the best and worst decisions of my life.

Best? because i have the funniest media buddies and literally can never stop laughing in lessons, one of our teachers has dubbed us the ''stitch and bitch'' corner cos all we do is chat and make fools of ourselves.

Worst? because my media theory teacher is out to get me and i can never keep up with deadlines cos theres too much fucking work!

.....

Moving on, after college today i had to do some very important filming for my media project, i work with my very sexy friend Jake Embling who also has a blog called www.jembers.blogspot.com (click to go to it) and basically we used our friend Izzie to be the model for the project.

Bullet points of what actually went on during filming:

- Izzie got changed outside. On a golf course. In minus freezing temperatures.(Also bear in mind dog walkers and the odd golf course workers trying to sneak a peek at izzies bod. Perves.)

- It was cold.

- kept ''vlogging'' through-out the whole shoot but the videos are too crap quality to even bother uploading, my video thingy must have gone dodgy.

- Jake screaming because he stepped through mud and puddles.

- Jake borrowing my socks.

- Successful filming overall!



line of today. ''THATS A FUCKING RAP''



p.s. for those that read my last blog; im still alive.

holi-daze

didnt realise how fast half term would go by, i mean, i said to myself ''give yourself a few days to chill out, cos you deserve it! ..and then get on with your work for the remainder of the week'' okay. Here's the problem, i gave myself one too many days to chill out and here i am now, on the day before i go back to college with shitloads of unfinished work.

I can see the headlines for tomorrow, ''TEENAGE GIRL, BRUTALLY MURDERED BY TEACHERS''


So if i dont post a blog within the next three days, assume im dead.

cutest thing ever

what do you want to be?

Truth be told, i want to be me. Ambition is exciting but to me, the thrill of experiencing life and not giving a crap about the future is pretty exciting. The thrill of living off of a few quid a day, going to parties and making mistakes with friends, being out on the beach burning because you forgot suncream, dropping an ice-cream on the floor then going to get another and watch that one go to the floor and join the other. Sitting with friends on holiday with a guitar singing Jason Mraz, getting dunked in a pool, throwing snowballs, drinking a cup of tea so sweet you cringe. Hugging somebody warm when your cold, talking on the phone for hours, reading harry potter books. The relief and proudness you get when you've cleaned your bedroom, the first sip of a chocolate cream frappucino, seeing someone you havent in a while, going to a new country, taking pictures of the most random things, holding your childhood teddy bear. Having a bad hair day, breaking down into tears, thinking about a person thats perished, thinking about life in general, trying to predict what might happen in the future. Unfortunatley, we all dont have a crystal ball.

be the change

imagination

for once, i wish people would stop thinking about the things they dont have and think about the things they do have. Were all selfish because we've grown up in a selfish world, but god gave free will and its your choice to whether you want to be selfish with it or react against it. Nothing is made to last, so cherish it. Stop yearning things that are materialistic and start yearning ambition, success, love and the future. Be happy with the things you have, be happy with your life, and if your not happy, change it! Free will remember? Its all down to you. Nobody else.

So respect, thrive, imagine and for god sake, live your fucking life!

trevor rabin out did himself with this beautiful masterpiece

Havent been on my blog for a while now, and since i love to write i got a diary and now its full to the brim, because of current climate the average diary now costs around 3 quid, thats if you want a decent one! I thought thats too much money to waste, so i did the switch and moved back to my blog, thank god i didnt delete it as that would be terrible! feels good to be home.. :)

welcome to my world

t-shirt on, check. Hair tied up, check. contacts out and glasses on, check. make-up off, check. Right, Im ready.
Sometimes i think about the bigger picture. I mean sitting in my big bedroom in my big house surrounded by expensive things seems so. Just so? I lack the word. Probably because no word has been invented yet to finish that sentence. Hopefully by the end of this 11.28pm (pour my heart out but manage to write loads of crap) piece, i will have thought of it.
Okay, so we listen to inspirational music and read inspirational quotes in the hope of actually becoming something, someone. Somebody. Anybody? Just to become or be someone that isnt yourself seems so amazing does it? But yet we wish for somebody elses life and forget the little things. Thats what im doing. Forgetting the little things.. Saying a sentence and watch my brother snap out a witty comment. Laugh till my belly aches at alan carr. Hugging my mum. Patting my dad's bald head on a morning and calling him ''Lord Farquaad''. Seeing the look on my mentally disabled but yet my beautifully articulated brothers face when he see's he's got Call of duty:Black opps for christmas. Staring at pictures? oh how i waste my time looking at pictures. But are we looking at something and remembering good things or just churning up bad things from the past? Okay, im going too deep now but seriously. Little things like that make the bad things seem irevicable. Totally unimportant. Merely a whisper a mile away from earshot. So how is it that I (including you and every other person in this world) have come to the conclusion that i still long to be somebody else? I mean what i wouldnt give to have angelina Jolie's lips or cheryl coles figure but truth is, Angelina Jolie was probably bullied for having big lips at school and now everyone loves her for them! And well cheryl was probably fat. Everyones fat at some point. Just sods law. Which brings me to another conclusion, anything that happens to you in school, highschool, college or whatever institution you attend, you will probably benefit from it later. I think..